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Emptiness Empathy Exorcism

by Crescendo Angst Cinevision

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    Manual with time-capsule writings + some ODC to confirm a sense of humor
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1.
Parting ways at the platform The last record of you A mental archive Eroding more It’s worn and torn / Now nearly due And I scrape to find a safe Where nothing else is stored A safe that’s out of style Now that humans hide what’s inside outside The last one around It’s bent and broke with holes Where there once were locks to shelter woes Through which the rain now goes That’s good enough for me I’m not pure and well / If rain could stain your pain I would not be here They’ll go ahead They’ll try to forget Though I won’t let go What you wanted them to know And I’ll leave it there like You’re across from me That way I tolerate reality When it sinks anew That you’ll never know What life is like to live in peace So I’m taking down all the liars I can With the time I have left Give myself the right to leave Side by side with a memory I can live with my con that I’ll know you again Cause I don’t need to rest in peace I don’t need to rest in peace
2.
3.
I am the human race Of a human race A proud human race Profoundly proudly hating but wait We’re a loving kind Such a loving kind A proud loving kind So long as your ugly face Looks kind of like mine I welcome you To the world of the free Oh so free So so free So so so free So so so free thso thso thso free Only after I know What’s in it for me Why should I Why would I count the greys I’ve long lost count It’s been a while since I’ve withered away So do pull out your greys Have a nice life it’s all the same You look fucking dead already anyway We’ll see you at the cocktail party In your fancy heaven Heaven seems nice What a snazzy gown you got Heaven real Hell dresses well Oh it’s all good How could you speak up How could you step up Knowing that’s giving up what you thought you deserve Guess you forgot your number one mug shot We pay for what we take Are you glad that you’re gone One with everyone Not missed is it comforting That you can’t go missing Like I know more with my vindictive way Still I won’t let you off cause I want the last say We own and we’ve earned All the best Hell I’ll try and not complain When I’m aflame So I can hear you scream For a pillow At least a pillow You’ve at least earned that Just a pillow
4.
There’ll be too much to hear To fit the passing space So I know that’s more The same of how it’ll used to feel You went for a better life As if it’s right to leave your wraith behind I ask Why try Now you’re a Happy one I will gift a dead crow So you know Where it goes now Yet I know There’s always good that waits for you I have no way to know If this will reach you By the bond Or straight up I don’t know you I write to the You I perceive There’s no common ground To be found We take what’s around These links aren’t meant to merge Further beyond the paradox Still that could be one way A bond gets to last NaaaaahHH Now that you know Where it goes now That there’s always good that waits for you Mistakes with no stakes Who will you wait To share them with
5.
6.
You damngod moron
7.
8.
Hey you How’s your day or week I’m legitimately looking For what’s in your eyes To know what you really see I’m legitimately listening To the words you share From the tips of your lips and fingers The hands that bless The keys and canvases No longer empty space I pretend how it feels To feel those fingers So here’s my pulsating heart Please keep it if you like I don’t need it back It does more here You know it already What it is and was To be seen And to blossom From a supernova I know it’s nothing novel to you I know that I know When nothing’s sacred And all’s desperately shared All they get to know Is what I’ve sung here I’ll never let them see What you’ve shown What you’ve given Only I will own So if it’s all the same That I spitefully Must stand apart from the rest To leave a mark That demolishes everyone Who ever wanted you to want them I want nothing Save to see you blossom
9.
10.
My only worth are my words That force multiplies My hacks through borrowed time Still what worth are my words When they’ll never be enough To make it to you I don’t know enough Can’t comfort enough Won’t be enough You deserve more than enough This is where I’ll die Though I lied I don’t wanna go If you’re not the one To let me go Will you ever hear me This is as brave as I’ll ever be This is where I’ll die One more wasted soul Yet I don’t wanna go Though you have no reason To give me hope

about

This will be what my bleeding-out heart sounds like. So that it may feel at all less heavy afterward.

As a reaching out, it took my whole deathconscious life getting to this but I ejected an album. I would talk about how much of an emotional life-soup I am from completing it, if not for the fact that I almost lost the most important bond in my life, again, and I call shotgun fault all the way, again. Salvaging this bond less than 24 hours ago amongst the wreckage that is my self-serving ripple effect on my super narrow environment gives me a clearer wakeup call than ever to cherish what I Do get to have in a nice life. I share this in the need for any of us to find courage with expressing how vulnerable / scared we are about what it is each of us survives through so to even live. And I humbly, graciously am a KFChicken-shit coward who wants to be braver by being the most generous creative empath as I physiologically and spiritually can.

Thank You, from my cyborg heart.

credits

released June 28, 2020

Jessie-Jamz Ozaeta:
Thunderkicker – Co-mixed so that your ears don’t bleed
Depiction Portal – Opening melody

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Crescendo Angst Cinevision Montreal, Québec

Depressive-a$$ metal-hop for legit outsiders

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